What a year it has been…Looking back on what I thought I would do this year and what I have actually done are so drastically different. I thought I was going to renovate our bathroom and laundry room, whiten my teeth, go on a weekend trip with my husband, plan an international trip, and return to a regular yoga practice. But instead I have honestly completely renovated my soul. I have gone deeper than I ever knew possible. I have found new parts of who I am. Maybe these parts were buried in an attempt at self preservation. Maybe these parts needed to be broken open to reveal what was really inside.
I am developing a deeper confidence in who I am and a better understanding of what I am meant to do in this world. I have been forced on multiple occasions to lean not on my own understanding but instead to lean into God. Being able to see and experience how God is moving in the world has been awe-inspiring. In a season where it could have been really easy to only see the darkness and brokenness, God has chosen to show up in big ways and small ways. Seeing God’s attention to the intimate details in life has brought me close to tears because I know He is paying attention and has been paying attention and will keep paying attention. It has also been really special to see how God has shown up in other people’s lives and situations completely separate from my own. I am reminded of the greatness of his power and the vastness of his love. I cannot begin to understand or even comprehend the pain and brokenness in this world, but knowing that God is alive and active leaves me with a glimpse of hope I pray I never lose hold of.
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